Glin Bayley 0:03
Hey, Rachel, so lovely to have you on the show. I'm really excited for this conversation. I've followed your work for the last, or 18 months. And it's just so exciting to talk Finally,
Rachel Kealy 0:17
I know. Thanks so much, Glin. Thanks so much for having me. Yes. I'm very excited to be on here today.
Glin Bayley 0:24
You're most welcome. Rachel, I always start off the interviews with getting my guests to share a little bit about themselves. Can you share a little bit more about you and your journey so far?
Rachel Kealy 0:35
Yeah, I guess well, my, what I'm actually doing is I run women's self defense seminars and workshops. But I guess you could say my actual self defense journey started probably about 20 years ago, when I met my husband. And it's actually funny, we met over in Thailand, yet we live in a suburb away from each other back here in Melbourne, which is really crazy. India, and he was heavily into martial arts. And that was something that I've never really got into, I never even thought about to be honest. I was, when we met, I was actually just starting my web design business. I left the corporate, I guess you could say structure, and I thought I wanted to go out on my own. And yeah, and he was who actually works on aircraft parts, but he's huge passion is martial arts. And he'd been training for such a long time. And I think at the time, he'd just gone for his second Dan in Taekwondo. And he was starting to teach me a lot about, I guess, the self defense systems within Taekwondo. And I got really interested in all of that side, and I guess, a big part of my interest probably came from growing up with really low confidence. It's something that I'm still working on today, it's been a journey, I feel so much more confident today than what I used to. But when I was younger, I was one of those people who would sit in, you know, the back row and just want to be invisible, whether it's in the classroom or sit in the background of the bus, or I'd walk around looking at the ground picturing I was in some kind of bubble that prevented anyone seminar coming near me. And you know, I'd almost be like invisible, I guess you could say, so. I didn't like confrontation, anything like that? And I guess so. When I started to learn from my husband in regards to martial arts, I started to ask him a lot of stuff, you know, in regards to how I protect myself, because I guess that's something I hadn't thought of, in that physical sense. But for me, it was always just about looking invisible, like, how can I make myself seem invisible, so that I wouldn't become a target. And I guess over the years, you know, he was learning from experts all around the world, training in so many different forms of martial arts, he started to really teach me a lot of things. And I started, I guess, feeling like I had a lot more confidence in regards to Okay, now I've got something to go to. And it very much was the physical side. So we were very much you know, if somebody was to attack you like this, we would do this. And yeah, so I guess I started to really take quite an interest. When we, when I first met him, I had absolutely no interest in going to do martial arts in general, as far as get a belt or go and compete or anything like that, he would just be learning things. And I'd be like, Okay, what can you What can you teach me about having, you know, feeling safer on the streets, and that is sort of where my whole focus was. So over the years, you know, he was learning more and more things. And I guess, the more I probably started to learn, I did, like I said, feel confident, but there was actually a period to when, I guess you could say maybe about eight years ago, we started to shift our focus from the physical side of self defense. And he was starting to learn a lot more about the things we can do to prevent the violence altogether. And then this was something that I was really, really interested in. Because I just thought, you know, you're probably the same, like, as a female, I feel like we're at a disadvantage, you know, especially coming up against somebody who could be so much larger. You know, and I just always felt like I was always going to be at a disadvantage, basically. So I started to focus myself too, on learning more and more about what we could actually do, understanding the mind of the predator more and understanding what they're actually looking for. And it was through this journey, I guess you could say that I also started to realize that the way I was trying to protect myself and I knew no different when I was younger, I was probably putting myself in a position to become a target. I guess you could say the things I was doing was really setting myself up to be a target but until you know any different you just Go to your own what you think is actually right. So, at any point, we're not doing anything wrong, we're just doing what we know. And so I guess I was learning all of this amazing information and are sharing with my friends and family. And why the whole time still I was running my web design business sorry, this sort of didn't start to become a, something I haven't thought about as far as a business at that stage.
And then probably about was probably about seven years ago, we were part owners in a gym, a Krav Maga gym. And at the time, I was like, it was purely more than physical, my husband was still teaching some of the mental side within the class as well. But in the back of my mind, there was just this burning desire to wants to have like a women's section, I just felt like, you know, as women, we're not sort of getting access to this information. Like I know, when I was looking around, there wasn't a lot of information about the mental side of self defense, which I believe now is probably about 90% of self defense and the physical sides that 10%. So there's so much more that we can actually focus on. And so I guess, um, I was, we were really busy with the Krav Maga gym. And I just didn't have time, I was doing a lot of there. Because my background was kind of design and marketing, I have a degree in advertising. And so I sort of focused so much on that. But I just kept making notes and started building things behind the scenes thinking, Oh, and I'd really love to have like a women's sort of network is sort of an area for women to be able to come and get this information. And then we had a bit of a break from the other gym, it was becoming very, we were very heavily involved. And it was probably too much work. There were other parties, but I guess maybe it wasn't split as evenly. And so we had a bit of a break. And I thought, Okay, this is my time, I was looking to get out of the web design business that I'd had as well, because I just sort of had that for such a long time, especially when I was having my kids and I was like, Oh, I want to get away from the desk. And so it was in June 2018. That you in particular, I don't know what it was, it just seemed like we're waking up a lot and hearing of women being attacked, whether it would be raped or even murdered, and it was just breaking my heart, I just it was it was just Yeah, very consuming as it is for everybody hearing these stories. And I just thought I have to, I just felt like I needed to get this information out there. I just thought I wanted women to feel a bit more empowered about their safety. And, you know, I just think the more I can share with them, then the more that I can sort of arm them, I guess you could say, because at the end of the day where we're never doing anything wrong, what we you know, we don't ask for anything that happens to us in that fashion. So it's really hard, you know, we can only once again only can do our best when it comes to our safety. But I just I really thought that okay, well, maybe I can get something out there, that's going to give someone that extra you know, that extra knowledge, make them feel a bit more empowered about their safety, help them with their choices when it comes to their safety. And you know, and hopefully I can work towards seeing, I want to say zero numbers when it comes to women being attacked. But, you know, we need to get the numbers down in general. So that's when I started the women's self defense network back in June 2018. And the response we had like, obviously, like any business, you start off small.
And we were just yeah, people were loving the information because it was so different. Like it wasn't, I know, quite often, if you look up self defense, you're going to see a poster. And it's usually going to be very physical based, like there'd be somebody with a choke, or some sort of, you know, attack happening. And I just remember thinking, you know, this is this is not sort of a true representation of exactly what self defense is, there is so much more and like we were just discussing a moment off before our recording. You know, I would meet people at parties, and I'd be chatting to them. And they'd be like, Well, what do you do? And I was like, oh, run, oh, you know, women's self defense business. And we have seminars and workshops, they're like, Oh, I'd love to do that been I've got a bad back or I've got a bad knee and I'm like oh that you don't need that doesn't come into play when it comes to how I can empower you with your safety. And so we've actually had these women would come into our course, and I absolutely love it and feel so empowered, and they'd report back you know, I was able to use this technique and all of that and because we are very much focused on avoiding In the violence altogether, like there are so many things that we can do in our day to day life where we can actually put things in place so that we're not actually putting ourselves in those in that danger, I guess you could say, and, and they're not, we're not asking people to make major changes to their life, it's really just navigating it a bit differently, and, you know, being more alert at the right times of the day. So, yeah, it's, yeah, I feel like I've just gone on and
Glin Bayley 10:30
deliberately stayed quiet, that just wanted to see your thinking and the journey and how that unfolds. And I think sometimes it's easy to interject, and or want to ask this question, but no, and it's just, that's quite the journey, and just how it how it opens up from meeting your husband having an interest for yourself, which I want to sort of dive into a little bit around sort of desire for being invisible, the confidence piece, but then changing it into a shift in business. And that's quite a very different business, from the graphic design website business to, to then doing self defense, and also the recognition that it's so much more than physical, you know, being more mentally focused on the avoidance rather than how to deal with it in the moment. So actually, protection strategies that never put you in danger in the first place. Because you've got, you've got the awareness. So Oh, gosh, there's loads I want to ask you and I, can I take you back to just your, your journey when you wanted to be invisible at that time? Yes. What was it about the environment or your experience at that time that said, this is the right way for me to be operating in my life that that hiding and not being seen?
Rachel Kealy 11:52
Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I was never one to like center of attention. I didn't like to be caught off guard. I probably like I mentioned earlier, a little bit of a control freak. And I think part of that. I think that felt like maybe me being invisible. I was controlling the situation. Well, that's what I thought I was doing anyway, like by, you know, looking at the ground, not making eye contact. So for me eye contact represented that I'm inviting that communication, I guess you could say from strangers. And I just remember thinking, well, I don't want that I almost just want to be able to go walking down the street with my head down my body language kind of really turning inwards as if to say, Please don't talk to me, my everything I'm giving you is telling you not to talk to me. So that's kind of where that mentality sort of came from. I guess even from school, I was quite shy. It was that being embarrassed was probably something that I can probably think of one word sort of summed up when I was at school, I was always embarrassed about saying the wrong thing, or doing the wrong thing. It's that whole control thing. Once again, that level of perfection, which you know, I've one of those other things I've struggled through, you know, maybe not completing something, because I'm always trying to protect perfect it and it has to be perfect. And so maybe putting those pressures on myself, I would be quite embarrassed. I would almost feel like, well, if the teacher asked me something, what if I said the wrong thing, and it was embarrassing, and then I had everyone looking at me. So it was all of like, my worst views coming together. So I would almost want to just feel invisible as if, like, Please don't ask me, please don't ask me that question. Sorry. Because you know, it was once again, I would want it to be perfect. And if it wasn't perfect, then I'd rather say nothing. Like, you know, to avoid that embarrassment, I guess you could say,
Glin Bayley 13:42
and how's the work that you've done now with the women's self defense network helped you see that actually, trying to be invisible wasn't a strategy that was going to help you succeed?
Rachel Kealy 13:54
Yes. Oh, my goodness, you know, why the funny fat what the funniest part was, so I was so excited about this business. And I was so excited about getting the information out there that I hadn't actually thought about what that entailed. So I remember in June, I launched my Instagram page, I started putting posts up. We started, you know, putting all this information out there to do webinars, seminars and workshops. And then we got our first gig. And I remember thinking, Oh, my God, what have I done, I've actually combined my absolute worst fear of public speaking, to getting up and now having to present in front of people and like my, my fee for public speaking was horrendous. I actually had a girlfriend who invited me to read at her wedding. And I said, No, I said, there's no way in hell I'm getting that reading at your wedding. Because I'll just be a complete Miss. I'll ruin your day. You're gonna have to ask someone else. So it was Yeah, I guess there was one period in my life where I felt quite confident. And that was when I studied advertising at uni. And because we had to get out and pitch campaigns all the time, we had an actual subject called presentation I guess over the time, because you're just doing it, it's like anything in there, you know, the more you practice it, the better you get. So, in the early days, I was petrified. But then we just did it so much. And then I got really comfortable. But once again to like any skill you don't use after a period of time, you start to lose that. And that was that confidence once again. So I remember being at, I was at the parents and friends Association on the board at school, for my kids school, and they would get up and I was head of fundraising and I they'd get up and they be asking, okay, Rachel, can you get up and talk about, you know, the latest fundraising, I'm like, I can't bet I can get somebody else to. So it was just something that was continually probably keeping me back. And so when I started this business, it became a real shock. And I think there was one moment where I turned around, and I thought to myself, you know what I have to get over myself, I have to remember that this, what I'm actually teaching is so much bigger than me. So I just have to get up there and say it because what I have to say, is really important. And I have to forget about how I feel in that moment. Like, I'm really excited to be able to share all this information with people, but you know, it, I can't let this one thing get in the way. And it was one of those things too. So I just started to push myself out of my comfort zone in little bits. And I think my confidence grew from that. And then the same with like, even all the social media side of the business, you know, when stories came in, and everyone's like, I've got to do a story, and I don't want to talk to camera. So it was another little learning curve. I remember putting that off for a while. And I remember doing like 500 takes before I was ready to put it live and, and yeah, good.
Glin Bayley 16:46
And like having, like, I've seen I've seen Yes,
Unknown Speaker 16:50
on my reels.
Glin Bayley 16:53
Yes, yes, they've been incredible. But I think what you're saying there is just it's so important just to pause for a moment minute and just acknowledge the journey that you've taken to recognize that your your fear, may potentially prevent you from helping another woman say yes. Right. And when you realize that your purpose is so much greater than then yourself, then it becomes the driving force that Paul that does keep you on track to actually, like me being scared of speaking like, is that a rational fear? Or is it an irrational fear? And is this? Is this really something that I can't move past? Or maybe Can I take baby steps and try and a little bit each day that just is that encouragement as we would do with children in their learning journeys to say how can we encourage them to take the small steps that actually ended up being really big steps?
Rachel Kealy 17:54
Yeah, absolutely. And, and even through that whole journey, and like you mentioned earlier to, you're asking about how now, you know, going from that invisible stage to where I am now. So the things I've learnt through self defense, is that eye contact is a huge part when it comes to self defense. Because when we, if you're thinking from a predators point of view, they're very much wanting to get you with the element of surprise, that is all part of their tactic. So we tell people to make eye contact with people and not just stare or to really, you know, hone in on them, but you're basically glancing at them to let them know, hey, I've seen you. So I know where you are. Now I am keeping my eye on you bet. You know, I'm not staring. And it kills that element of surprise. And that is such an important thing when it comes to your safety. And now I understand to there we've had you know, a lot of people say I just physically cannot make eye contact. And I understand that because that was something that took a long time for me when I was younger. But so we tell people to look even just at their face in general like it at their chin, or even better look at their hands hands very much give away people's intentions, whether they look like they're concealing something, or they're covered, or maybe there's one hand behind the back, all that kind of stuff, but just to be glancing at those people, your people in their direction, because it is letting them know. Okay, I have seen you, I'm aware of where you are. Because that is a big part of prejudice process is to be able to get you, you know, if you are looking down at your phone, they're going to choose somebody who looks very distracted and unaware of what's happening around them, basically.
Glin Bayley 19:34
So and we see so much of that now. We do all the time, and I've been guilty of it and you just think, gosh, you know, I'm not that in lockdown life. We're getting out much. But not much is happening. Yeah. But certainly prior to that, you know, there's just this sort of view that everything's okay because we're not in this world where safety Like, I feel certainly Sydney feels like a really safe city. But that doesn't mean you are safe all at the time. You don't need to be vigilant and that you have to take responsibility for whether you're putting yourself in harm's way or not. And I think we do sometimes yet certainly complacent with buy, everything's all right. You know, I live in a safe neighborhood. And therefore this, this, this not likely to happen to me. But I'm sure every person that's been harmed would never have thought it would ever happen to them, either.
Rachel Kealy 20:31
Absolutely. And one of the hardest things to happen now we got a lot of people contacting us when we first started going into lockdown was when the masks became something to wear, because it takes away so many of the facial expressions that we're used to reading and people I mean, I can barely identify my friends. I had a girlfriend of the day that had a beanie on sunglasses in a mosque and I was like, hang on, Is that her? Is that really her and you feel like you just you don't know people and you can't read people. And so I've found that the world has become a lot less friendly when you're out walking, because people are wearing masks and everyone's You know, there's so much going on. And you know, when we are out and about we're trying social distance we're trying to we almost look at each other as if like a cat, I want to be anywhere near you, because maybe you've got a COVID or did that person just cough like it's, we're really, it does seem very unfriendly, it doesn't, we don't feel very connected. And the mask played a huge part of that. So I I pop on my social media occasionally, just to remind people to still make eye contact, even if you're wearing a mask. And you know, and a lot of, you know, I just put my hand up to wave to people to say hi, because you know, sometimes I say it verbally and they can't hear but it's just, I still are very much like walking past people and saying hi. And I'm trying to keep it friendly, even though it feels like we're in a very unfriendly environment at the moment. And it's not, you know, we've all just, we've got Oh, I feel like we've got this guard on at the moment, based on what's happening, and
Glin Bayley 22:00
yeah, so yeah, oh, gosh, this is fascinating. And I think this is part of what I'm realizing is that we don't know what we don't know. Because if we're giving this time, thought or energy, then the ability to plan and protect ourselves as we need to, it's just isn't not even on the radar until like you in the moment, and then it's like, What do I do? What do I do now? What has been the most challenging part of the journey that you've been on in in this transitioning from your graphic design business to women's self defense network, and I know, you've mentioned that having to do public speaking. But aside from sort of the fear around being seen, what's been the hardest to observe through all of the relationships that you've been building with, with women that are coming to you and sharing stories and, and new learnings that come from that?
Rachel Kealy 22:57
Yeah, I guess it is, part of it is hearing the stories, because we do get a lot of people contacting us, especially when we put up some information. You know, people would, you know, share or share their experiences and say, Oh, thank God, you know, I really glad I know this now. And, and it's heartbreaking hearing people's stories. You know, and I even had a lady I'll never forget, I had a lady write to me, I put up something might have been a physical demonstration even. And she wrote to me and said, Oh, I really wish I knew I hadn't known how to do this so many years ago, and then I wouldn't have been raped. And I just, it's really hard. Because, you know, I, I don't know. I mean, I'm so glad I'm able to help them with information now. But it's just really hard. You know, knowing what the right thing to say is even sometimes, you know, I, I can't, it's heartbreaking to think that they've even gone through these experiences. And so that is definitely been one side that's been really probably just hard hearing people's stories. And then, you know, and then the other side is that we also get so many people's being very thankful for the information, it seems to have traveled so far around the world. I get so many, like, my actual audience, I've only got 18% of my audiences in Australia, the rest of around the world, so 50% in the US, and then I've got India I've got so many little people, suddenly little places contacting me, you know, thanking me for the just for the knowledge because it is I just found that when I did start this, there's not a lot of this kind of knowledge out there, you know, just telling people to reverse their car because it gives them a much better chance if they need to get away quickly then, you know, you're already ready to go and it's so much planning like it's not major planning, like I said, where you just telling people to reverse the car instead of driving straight in. It's just little things but um, yeah, so I guess it is quite often a lot of people after a seminar will come and share their journeys and their stories. The The hard part is that it is said that a lot of the time people actually come to us once something's happened. They'll say, you know, even if they know of something that's, that happened to somebody else, they I quite often get contacted saying, Oh, you know, one of our staff was attacked in the car park last night, we'd love you to come in and do a session for all of our staff. And, you know, unfortunately, it is really heartbreaking when you know, it's off the back of something else happening. But yeah, it's, it's just hoping that people are talking and sharing the information. I know, a lot of people you know, just from the stats that I get back from social media, a lot of it does get shared, which is really good. Because I just I just figure, the more that people know, the more that they can arm themselves with this information so that they can navigate their day differently. And like I said, not major changes, but just in a way that's going to set them up to be a little bit more protected when it comes to their safety. Yeah, absolutely.
Glin Bayley 26:01
Especially given it is such a, it's a global reaching issue. And there are countries that are significantly less safe than Australia. So I can I can understand why those those metrics would look different for Australia versus the states or other regions like India. But the issue is still important for all of us to take take note of if you were thinking about what you would want as your as your vision for the women's self defense network, what would that what would that be? Where is the focus for you guys at the moment.
Rachel Kealy 26:37
So the next phase, because we are at the moment, like the it is a mobile service, so we do drive out to people's businesses, or if it's a group of moms, or we had a mums and daughters netball group, but we get so many different groups. So we've been able to sort of facilitate our area, we have been flown into state for bigger companies. But we would love to get it out to everyone. So that's why we're currently developing an online course. And this has been a baby project that I've been working on for quite some time, and COVID had a little bit of injected, injected. delay, I guess you could, yeah, that's the best way to describe it. But, um, so I would just love to get it out globally, I'd love to get this information out and to empower as many people as possible so that they've got sort of these tools, like, I just think it's all I like to refer to it as planting the seed. So the more that we can plant in people's minds, the more they've got as a go to if they need to in that moment. And that is sort of what I'm hoping all the social media does. You know, quite often people will contact us and say, Oh, I saw your story when you did this. And then you know what this happened the other day, and I was able to do this, and it worked. And so it's just even learning something like people will recall something that we said, and it's all about Yeah, just literally getting the information out there. And the course will deliver a whole picture. So it's going to have understanding the minds of the predator, then how to what we can do to not become a target, then I have like a whole section dedicated towards a day in the life. So how we would actually navigate a typical day, I guess, you could say in the safest way possible. And then we've got the physical side, because while that's a small part, it's still a part that is important that we need to you know, have an understanding about so if we do not be perfect, do that. So they're going to be times when we're not situationally aware and we could find ourselves in a situation so,
Glin Bayley 28:44
but I think you're right about that. The recall that happens when you've seen a snippet of the real story or you know, had a video video that you've watched and you've gone Oh, okay, I remember this now somewhere in your subconscious it's planted and I like what you say is the seed so it's, it's underneath the soil at the moment, and if you're tending to it, you're watering to it when the time's right it will need to sprout up into the light and you get Oh yeah, now that's come into action and I can see exactly what I needed to do because it is it's incredibly powerful and I think the more an i've i've been fascinated by so attend sighs at Oh, geez. Watching your journey and seeing the videos come out and the reels because they are there moments of Oh, yes. You know that remember you doing the doorstop? What? unintel Yes. With you whenever you travel. I'm like, oh, no easy thing just to have as a safety mechanism. If you are staying in a different hotel or somewhere that's, you know, unfamiliar for you to just to be able to protect yourself with the smallest of tips and I thought, yeah, these these micro tips add up to something that ultimately could save your life if you if you are in those circumstances where there is danger.
Rachel Kealy 29:55
Absolutely. Yeah. And like that's what I was saying there. They are just little things but once you Put them in place, it adds that nother level of defense. And that's all we're doing is just putting these layers of defense there, so that we can give ourselves that buffer against violence and do whatever we can to actually avoid getting to that actual
Glin Bayley 30:15
salutely. And now that you were out there, you're, you're from a confidence perspective, and you mentioned that you're still it's still working progress. If I was to ask you, what would Rachael being unstoppable look like? What What would it mean to you?
Rachel Kealy 30:31
Um, you know, yeah, cuz I talk, we talk a lot about confidence, especially in our course, with Tina, on her Empire Builder. And I guess, you know, for me to actually be up on stage delivering to a really massive audience, and filling in my space that would be so comfortable and doing that, then yes, that's kind of like my end goal. I mean, like I said, I want to get this information out to everyone. And my confidence journey is discom. So far, like my friends that know me from way, way back, they will be thinking, I think they're in shock really, to think what I'm actually doing today, because I'm so out of my comfort zone, I couldn't be any more out of my comfort zone. If I tried even doing the reels, I feel like, I have to almost add a little level of stupidity to it like, like, make it funny, because if I tried to make it serious, then or too serious, then I it's just too much for me, like I probably use humor a little bit, trying to get myself through those uncomfortable stages. And I also like to add humor, because it is a very serious topic. So I'd like it to be rememberable. So if it is a little bit silly, then hopefully, it'll be something that is easy to remember, because it was memorable, as opposed to just being open about in a really monotone kind of way. So but as far as being unstoppable, we just, I guess, from a confidence perspective, will be asked to be able to do anything and you know, be able to deliver without those intense nerves and everything but I've had over the past, yeah, I guess, you know, being able, I think to myself or not that, you know, it's, I mean, look, who knows, it may or may not happen one day down the track. But if live TV, being on live TV would just be probably the moment my worst nightmare. But then from would also be my goal from as far as being the absolute unstoppable me, I guess you could say, so
Glin Bayley 32:31
definitely needs to be on your vision board, because we're gonna go even more viral than the ones that you've had already go. And I can imagine this taking off. So getting that course done, hopefully, yes, COVID plays ball and gives some light relief to be able to get the filming done, so that you can get that program out there. Because I think it's going to be an incredibly valuable value support system for for others and, and just be yourself as well. Because the journey that you've gone from is going right, I'm going from being invisible to having to be very visible, to be able to access, the impact that I want to make in the world. And I think that's when I look at the work that I do with women, it's exactly the same journey. It's a sense of, you know, rather than questioning Who are we not to do this, it's like, well, of course, we are those women to actually start stand up, you know, step out, be seen, face those fears, but recognizing that actually the difference we can make if we were to all step into our confidence, and the impact will make on others for for the greater good is so so worth the butterflies and wanting to be sick salutely and
Rachel Kealy 33:48
there's just been so much personal growth. Like I think I've done so much more now, in my life that I would have ever done if I hadn't have said yes to things. And I remember reading Emma Isaac's book winging it. And there's somewhere she wrote in it about just saying yes, and you work out the rest later. Like, if it's something that you want to do, but it's only nerves holding you back to say yes, and then you've got time to plan and, and I think I've been doing a lot more of that. And I'll say yes. And then I would just go oh my god, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done and then you know, it is it's all just part of the journey in the planning and, and it's just yet so much personal growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. And I have had experiences now and met people that I would not necessarily have ever met had I've sat in my comfort zone. But even though it is uncomfortable in those moments, and we talk a lot when it comes to self about self defense about feeling comfortable when you're uncomfortable, so because you want to be able to in that moment where you know you are confronted with some potential danger, you want to be able to sit a little bit comfortably with it, which sounds very odd because you're going to be anything back comfortable, but to give you That moment to be able to focus and breathe and make the choices that you need to make. So we to say it is good to push yourself out of the comfort zone. So you've got that experience of knowing how to deal with that feeling. Yeah, and true. coming out the other side of it, like even just little things like doing a story or real or filming yourself for something, they're just little things that keep building on that confidence. So, and confidence is huge in self defense. So that is one of the biggest things we talk about walking with confidence. You know, once again, it's not something that a predator is looking for, they don't want someone that they think is going to fight back or use their voice or you know, is going to create a scene in that moment, they are looking for someone quite vulnerable. So and I know myself, like I've mentioned, it is a journey, it's one thing to say to people, okay, you just need to be confident when you're out walking. And but it's something that you know, we just need to work on and do the best you can. So
Glin Bayley 36:00
yeah, I think it's so powerful, what you've just said, then it takes me links back to some of the the negotiation consulting, that I do is this sense of like when you're in a high stressful environment, like negotiation can be obviously in in an environment where there is danger that you're potentially physically likely to be in harm's way, that's an incredible amount of stress that your body's then under the discomfort of that feeling, and to be able to recognize that feeling, but still be able to choose behaviors that support your success become Paramount, like in a negotiation, if you let the discomfort of asking for what's needed and negotiating hard for maximizing value for your business. It's gonna be uncomfortable, because we like as humans, to be fair, we like to be liked, we like to have all of these values that want us to be seen as good people. And sometimes in those environments, you have to be something different to secure, secure the outcome that you want. And that, that discomfort like oh, I don't, I don't know about this. But to your point, if you practice more of that, Oh, this is what my body is going to feel like. But instead of my my natural reaction, which might be to withdraw or to go, Oh, I don't, that's too scary, it's too dangerous. I'm not going to explore that, that that new way of working, or that new way of being, your body's slowly getting used to that discomfort. So it doesn't have the same physiological response that's triggered without you having that space, I think that pause to be able to choose to be able to choose your response, because you've become aware of that discomfort isn't isn't immediately triggering your fight or fight. It's the Oh, okay, I'm prepared for this. I know what this feeling is. And now I can do something about it, because I've practiced. So I think that's incredibly, incredibly important is to sit with that discomfort and know that actually, that discomfort could save your life. In your case with the work that you do, very, very clearly, if you are getting used to that discomfort and practicing things that aren't aren't your natural comfort zone, because you're right. Oh, absolutely,
Rachel Kealy 38:15
yeah. And that's why we encourage people to to go and do at least something physical. So we quite often say to people even just to go and do a couple of boxing classes, because it's that moment, say you're like, I've got sisters, I haven't grown up with, you know, a brother, where, you know, we used to wrestle or anything like that. So for a lot of women, we haven't had a lot of contact with our bodies, in regards to slightly a physical, you know, response, that physical feeling. So, it's really good to go and train in a safe environment, in a boxing gym, where maybe you are going to cut a little knock here and there while you're training, but it's something that you're used to not so much used to be the fit, it's not the first time that you've it, yeah, you've experienced it. And then it's not the first time that you ever experienced it if you find yourself in an encounter, where there is some violence. And so that is really important just to be able to understand what that feeling is like because the first time you get hit, you're like, hang on a minute, that didn't feel good at all. But it's knowing what that feeling is like and it not being the first time that is quite important. So it's really good to go and do you know, do a little bit of training, find something you enjoy, it might even be Brazilian jujitsu, or, but a lot of those things where you're having people make contact with you, you know, you know, in a way that you're not used to and especially with boxing, it's great to learn how the correct way to punch in like we do definitely, also focus on Palm striking, but it is just really good to take a few knocks in a safe environment where and I'm not talking about big knocks, I'm just talking about somebody, you know, just feeling that impact on your body because it's not something we go around doing almost ever. Like. If you didn't do it in a gym, you're probably not really you know, you're not going to go up to your girlfriends and stop whacking them on the shoulder. Hey, how you going? That's your thing. But um, yeah, so it is good just to it's one of those another one of those things where it's really good to experience it, just so that you know what that feeling is like so that, yeah, your body doesn't go into absolutely complete shock. I mean, not your bodies can be going through a cocktail of things, if you found yourself in a violent encounter. But it's just good if you're have had some experience of feeling impact, you know, understanding how your body works, the weapons you've got at your disposal, all that kind of stuff. So it is really good to, like you said, Go into those more absolute moments of discomfort
Glin Bayley 40:43
are fantastic. And Rachel, what next for you in terms of your personal journey? Where are you taking yourself onwards from you've got such a keen focus on the women's self defense network, how you continue to level up your, your confidence and your your focus going forward?
Rachel Kealy 41:03
Well, actually, it's all been very recent. But, but yes, I'll definitely be continuing to just do as much as I can for the women's self defense to get out to as many people as possible. But on a personal journey, I've actually just signed myself up to become an accredited life coach, which I'm so excited about, because I just have this real purpose and passion, probably very similar to yourself to want to help people. And I've just always been a real people person, I love chatting to people, I love problem solving with people. And this sort of just kind of clicked and I don't know what I'm waiting for, I just saw, I'm kind of doing this on the side, as well as my women's self defense, it'll probably be a couple of years. And then I definitely want to be able to do more with that as well and help people on their journeys to be able to achieve their goals and make big changes in their lives. So that's sort of like my next phase, which I'm so excited about.
Glin Bayley 41:59
Oh, fantastic. And so much comes from that personally as well. Right. As you as you're learning this new modalities, you're going through the process of your own sort of self coaching your own self leadership. And that brings so much wealth of knowledge for what you do with the women's self defense networks, it just heightens your ability to support and really, really hold space for people as they find their way for not only prevention, but also recovery from any any harm that they've experienced. So
Unknown Speaker 42:32
Oh, yeah, I'm so excited.
Glin Bayley 42:36
Your online program could morph into being something that's so such a container for people to go right. You know, not only can I educate myself, but I've actually got some real clarity about what I'm going to do next. And the life that I'm going to create for myself. So are so exciting, right? Where do people find you? How can they get hold of you and get access to the to your program or the seminars that you mentioned?
Rachel Kealy 43:04
Yes. So the best place, I mean, we have a website, which is probably easiest for people to get us, which is W s d n.com.au. Pretty much everything links off from there, we do provide a lot of information on our Instagram account. That's where you'll find our little tips with our reels and all of those bits and pieces. But yeah, through the website, you can look at the different services we offer. Hopefully it won't be long. And we'll have the online course up there as well, which is very exciting. But yeah, basically, people message me through all avenues. I get people sending me messages through Instagram DMS, or we're on Facebook as well. So yeah, there's many ways you can find us. And yeah, I'll put
Glin Bayley 43:50
them all in the show notes so that you can be reached because I just think the work that you do. Thank you. And I just want to say, thank you so much for coming on this show. It's just my pleasure. I've loved it. Get to hear your journey and hear more about what's inspired you and where you're going. Next thing yes, no,
Rachel Kealy 44:08
thank you so much.
Glin Bayley 44:09
Glin catch up soon. No worries. Thanks.
