It was my birthday on Wednesday, 4th DecemberāI turned 45 this year.
While it may not be an official milestone birthday, I feel that this one was particularly important to me.
Turning 45 has made me reflect on how much I've grown. Ten years ago, I was celebrating my birthday in a very different place, both emotionally and physically. Looking back, I canāt help but feel amazed at how far I've comeāand how much more I have to discover.
Ten years ago, I celebrated with my ex-husband at a lovely restaurant near St. Paulās Cathedral in London. We'd both separated a few months earlier, and I was clinging to the hope that he would change his mind about wanting to live solo. We were still friends, but he didnāt want more. Six months later, I was flying to Sydney on my own to start a new life in Australia.
I canāt quite believe where the last ten years have gone. It feels like a lifetime ago, yet it also feels like it was just yesterday.
Iāve grown so much in that time. I know my journey of growth will continue until my time comes to say goodbye to this life and this human body.
I sometimes wonder if I still have more than half my life ahead of me, or if Iām already over halfway. While Iām sure I chose my crossing-over date before I even arrived, I still ponder how much time I have left and how much I want to make it count.
This year has been particularly profound for meāperhaps because it's the first year I've consciously realised how much Iāve been limiting myself and how much Iāve contorted myself into what I thought others needed me to be.
I wish I knew who these 'others' were. I can't even put a face or a name to them, but itās like Iāve convinced myself theyāre out there, and I need to define myself in a way that is acceptable to āthem.ā
I realised that in my search to define myself, I had been unknowingly influenced by external expectationsāthose 'others' I couldnāt even identify, but who seemed to shape my sense of self without me realising it.
As I reflect on this, Iāve realised that my uncertainty about who I am isnāt accidental. According to Human Design, I have an undefined G Centre, which means I donāt have a fixed sense of identity. No surprise, right?! Itās like Iāve been trying to define myself based on external cues, but in reality, my true self is fluid and ever-changing. This explains why I feel like a chameleonāadapting to different people and environments as I seek alignment. It explains why I'm so selective about who and what I give my energy to, as Iām so susceptible to others and my environment influencing who I am.
The upside, however, is that Iām not supposed to define myself. My identity is meant to feel fluid. This is why I struggled with defining my identity based on what I do, like negotiation specialist or executive coach.
As much as these labels helped define what I do, I began to realise they were also limiting me. They kept me in boxes, reducing me to what I do, rather than who I am at my core. I donāt want to be defined by what I do anymore. I want to be free to express who I truly am, beyond any labels or expectations.
It sounds counter to everything weāre told in business, but what I know for sure is that for me to be the truest expression of myself, I canāt define myself.
It limits me; it places shackles around my ankles and stops me from moving freely. Instead of defining myself, Iām supposed to seek alignment with what feels good, and do the work that feels aligned because it feels good. Iām meant to work with people who feel aligned, because working with them feels good.
It now makes sense why, while I didnāt want to chase corporates and thought I didnāt want to work with them, I actually didnāt want to work with people and organisations who didnāt feel alignedāpeople who couldnāt see the value and needed āconvincing.ā
Iām not here to convince anyone of my value, and I donāt think you are either. We all have value to give, and itās our journey to determine where our value is most aligned.
Do you know where you feel most aligned?
What makes you feel good?
Are you being someone who values your unique contribution and honours the gift youāve got to give?
This morning, I changed my LinkedIn banner for what seems like the millionth time this year!
This one feels the truest so far because itās not about what I do for work or the transformation Iām promising you.
Itās simple and yet profound for me:
āI give myself permission to be all of me, so that you feel free to be all of you.ā - Simply Glin
Thatās the space Iāve created here in this heart-to-heart, and itās the space where I hope you can feel inspired to go out into the world and be the fullest expression of you.
Until next week, keep going and keep growing.
Love,
Glin xš
P.S. Three wins from my week:
- My Birthday: I made it another year around the sun. This year was tough and kindāit was the full spectrum of emotions, but what was very clear is that it was a year that has brought me closer to my true home within.
- Commitment: Iāve recognised that I need to stop procrastinating and start writing my next book. Iāve been distracted by so much other stuff, but I know this is what I feel aligned to do, and sharing the lessons Iāve learned feels good.
- Connection: To my truth and feeling the peace that came with honouring who I am, and realising how much more I get to show of me when I stop defining myself and ultimately limiting myself as a result.
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