#132: Glin & Tonic - Eliminating Noise to Discover Your True Path

What noise do you need to eliminate so that you can hear the signal guiding you towards your future self?

For me, as I reflect on this question, I know the biggest noise I need to eliminate is the noise of what others are doing and getting distracted by shiny things.

I love learning from and about what others are doing, but the challenge is that I often find myself wandering down various rabbit holes that I don't need to go down—losing traction towards the future self I want to become.

The thing is, when we spend too much time observing others and falsely believing that we need or 'should' be doing what they're doing, it's the fastest route to losing ourselves and trust in our own inner compass.

We give our power over to the outer world and fail to tune into our inner knowing of the path ahead.

I’ve had a great week, but a challenging one too. With no more negotiation training until the new year, I was excited to spend the week making progress on my new book and updating the Unstoppable Woman program I’ll be running with a new cohort next year.

Instead, I started questioning where I was focusing my time and whether I was spreading myself too thin across multiple ventures (which perhaps I might be). But mostly, I was fixated on finding ‘the’ answer—the one that would align everything I was working on. The answer that would make the path forward clearer.

I wanted to know exactly which business I would scale next year and exactly what products and services I wanted to build on.

While on the surface this seems fair enough—it's the end of the year, a time for reflection and refocus, and it’s typical of what most others running their own businesses do—deep down, I was questioning my identity again.

I was trapped trying to 'figure out' who I am again, rather than focus on why I’m here, which I’m already clear on.

Since the end of September, I’ve been immersed in a program of deep reflection and journalling on a weekly basis. The program, facilitated by Dr Benjamin Hardy (author of multiple books, including 10x Is Easier Than 2x), has held the space I’ve needed to explore more deeply than I ever have what I’m here to do.

Through a combination of his framework, journal prompts, and the deep and regular self-inquiry work I do independently, I’ve come to realise that my intrinsic motivation isn’t to scale a business for the sake of scaling a business. I’m not motivated by money; I’m motivated by creating value.

What I realised a couple of months ago was that I’m here to scale a message. Yet my ego was trying to maintain a polished image, the one that would be motivated by significance and looking good more than by service to others.

In truth, the message I’m here to scale is about becoming a more authentic human and navigating that journey in life. The journey of becoming and making the contribution we each are here to make. That journey is often messy, unpolished, and involves a deep level of honesty with oneself. It involves accepting brutal truths about how we’ve betrayed ourselves in pursuit of being accepted by others. It’s a journey not for the faint of heart, but the journey I know deep inside I’m travelling—and what I feel most able to speak from my heart about.

In understanding this, my energy is now much lighter than much of this week when I was in my head. The journey of becoming oneself, I know all too well, is not linear and often fraught with internal struggles.

That’s the work. The work we are all, to a greater or lesser extent, here to do.

I’m feeling peaceful because the chatter in my head has quietened. The filter for my focus in both of my business ventures, Heart of Human and The Value Negotiator, along with my board work and consulting with non-profits, is that it needs to support people (and by extension, businesses) becoming the most authentic, truest expression of themselves and helping them make the contributions they seek to make—more powerfully and in a way that uplifts humanity and doesn’t harm it.

I’ve found having space for reflection incredibly powerful, and in the new year, I’ll be opening a container for you to have your own space for reflection. Every fortnight, I’ll be available for Q&As and coaching as part of a group container. This will be open to both men and women as I want to hold space for anyone who wants to take the journey to becoming themselves.

If this piques your interest, drop me a line at [email protected] I'd be happy to have a conversation.

This week, I want to recommend a book I’ve been reading by Cal Newport—So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love.

In it, he talks about why "follow your passion" is bad advice and explains how adopting a craftsman mindset is far more valuable than a passion mindset.

I resonate deeply with what he shares, and I know my craftsmanship is in the subject of freedom and how to be our most authentic, fully expressed selves. I intend to be so good in the work I do that I can't be ignored!

What’s something you want to be so good at, they can’t ignore you?

Until next week, keep going and keep growing.

Love Glin x

P.S. Three wins from my week:

1. Client Opps: I presented a proposal for working with a new client next year. They came to me through a recommendation from someone I trained in negotiation skills three years ago. It meant a lot that my work and delivery approach had made an impact. I also received a firm commitment from a client with whom I’ll be running my Unstoppable Woman program—this will be the third cohort for the same business, which again speaks to the quality of transformation I want to be known for in my work.

2. Clarity & Acceptance: While this week felt like my mind was messy and involved a lot of mental gymnastics, what has emerged from what I call another 'ego attack' is clarity—clarity that comes from accepting that the journey often involves experiencing confusion and surrendering what doesn't serve us.

3. Nature: I enjoyed some active recovery time with long beach walks while listening to Don Beck discuss Spiral Dynamics—an incredibly fascinating program on understanding the evolution of individuals, organisations, and societies.