#136: Glin & Tonic - Embracing Transformation: How Identity Changes Require New Choices

Last week, I surrendered my identity as a business owner and embraced my identity as a creator.

This might sound ridiculous to some, but for me, it represented a significant ego death. It meant letting go of any attachment or concern for how people might perceive me, my fear of how it might impact the work I do, and how or what I would spend my time on.

I jumped into the week excited by the freedom—with a handful of client meetings and some board-related duties, my diary had space for me to play, to create, to meander, and to let myself follow my muse.

Only there was one huge problem. I wasn’t entirely sure how to follow my muse.

I had no model for my new identity, so the choices I made and the actions I took reinforced my old one.

My days looked the same as every other week. When I don’t have client workshop delivery days, I’m at my desk in my home office working—yep, a typical 8-6 pm day.

There’s always something to busy myself with.

But being busy doing busy work—all in the effort to feel productive—is my old corporate conditioning.

Be productive, make your days count, be achievement-oriented, measure your daily progress.

Yep, while my belief about who I am had shifted, my choices and actions had not.

I’ve got another ego death incoming, and given how uncomfortable these are to experience, I know this is one I need to accelerate if I’m to elevate the impact and contribution I want to make.

I realised the first subject of my recently discovered mission is me.

If I want to help mission-led individuals accelerate and elevate their impact and contribution through inner transformation, then I would need to be subject no.1.

Farrrrrk!

Because espousing my values and what I do isn’t enough, I’ve got to embody and become my message.

So, after what felt like an underwhelming first week back at work, on Friday evening as I journaled in my diary, I recognised that 2025 is the year I need to transform myself so that I can go further than I’ve been before.

I’ve made various transformational leaps in the past, including moving countries, leaving corporate employment, changing career paths, becoming an author, and doing awkward things I’ve never done before—like a 3-minute TV segment on a morning show—but this feels different.

I’ve never shown myself like this. The messy work, previously, has been done in private, behind closed doors. The moments of sobbing and feeling like a failure have been shared with only a select few.

But I realised, through observing myself this last week, that it’s important to show how transformation actually looks. It’s not a linear journey. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and it requires making brave choices about what to let go of and what to keep.

I was like Tigger bouncing into the week on a high because I was calling myself a Creator!

But that energy didn’t last long because my behaviours hadn’t yet followed my identity.

It’s part of the journey to discover what else needs to shift to truly transform.

I’ve started small.

My office is now being renamed as my Creative Canvas.

I’ve given myself a made-up job title of Creative Director (of my life and my life's work) just to help anchor my identity.

I’ve removed my in-tray from my desk (it was more of a filing tray to keep paperwork tidy), but that made me feel like it was an office.

I’ve cleared my whiteboard of my ‘to-do’ list and replaced it with a ‘want list’.

The want list is a list of things I dream of having, doing, or experiencing. It felt very expansive to write.

I’m not attached to achieving what’s on the list, but it’s giving me the opportunity to dream again—to want what I want without justification to anyone for why I want it. It’s for me—it brings me joy.

I’m slowly decluttering my office of anything that makes it feel like my old identity, and I’m going to re-decorate the space so that my environment supports my creative energy.

The real work will require me going deep within myself, but by changing my visual cues, I’m helping myself not to fall into the default patterns of my old behaviour.

The ego death will still need to be experienced, and I’m considering how I might accelerate that so that I don’t continue to be tricked by my ego into thinking that I’m transforming when really my ego has the same hold over me.

I’ve got to get out of my comfort zone next week, do or be something that will make it go crazy. Make it want to control me and my actions, and I’ve got to be prepared to let it go nuts and have strategies for how I’m going to deal with its resistance.

I’ll keep you posted next week.

Most of you know I want to write another book. Last year, when I saw The Negotiation Playbook in the business section of stores, it filled my heart with joy—but it also revealed something that I felt deep down but had never acknowledged out loud. I want my next book to be in the Mind, Body, and Spirit section.

I’ve been pondering for the last two months what I want to write about and have had a number of false starts—more examples of my ego seeking to write what I think could be popular, versus writing what I know needs to be shared.

In service of my mission to help mission-led individuals accelerate and elevate their impact and contribution through inner transformation, I’m going to document and share my own journey. This will be the foundational content of my next book.

This is risky. It terrifies me because what if I fail to transform? What if I can’t become the message? What if I look like a complete idiot in the process? What if no one wants to publish it? Remember, you don’t have a big audience. What if no one wants to read it?

Oh, hello, Nayla, you're back again. I’m acknowledging that pesky voice in my head—the one you have in yours too. It’s the joker that loves to mess with you. It’s your ego. Mine’s called Nayla (because I want to ‘nail her’).

The questions and fears and concerns above—that was Nayla. That’s what she sounds like. She’s concerned for her survival and safety, and those questions she poses are there to help keep her alive. If I listen to her, I won’t transform. I won’t achieve my mission. And that means other mission-led individuals potentially not realising their mission too.

Oh, and just so you know what I mean by mission-led individuals: They are the people who want to build societies, not tear them down. They are the ones interested in the collective success of their teams, organisations and industries—not just individualism. 

They are driven by something much bigger than themselves. And to use Don Beck’s language from Spiral Dynamics, they are the people interested in thriving and helping others thrive too. The Value Creators & Negotiators.

It's time for me to sign off, but by subscribing to my weekly heart-to-heart—Glin & Tonic—you'll have a front-row seat to the ride I'm taking in 2025.

Now, it's over to you—take a minute to reflect on your own journey:

1. What parts of your identity are you holding on to that may no longer serve you?
2. What transformations are you being called to make, but perhaps feel hesitant or scared to embrace?
3. Where in your life are you still following old patterns or behaviours that you've outgrown?
4. What could you start doing today to give yourself permission to follow your own "muse" and create your path forward?
5. How can you begin embodying your message, not just in what you do, but in who you are?

2025 could be the year we all step deeper into who we are meant to become. What are you choosing to transform this year?

Until next week, Happy New Year! Keep going and keep growing.

Love Glin x

P.S. Three wins from my week:

1. Allowing & Surrendering: This week of ultimate freedom was mentally harder than I imagined, but I’m grateful for the realisation that I am subject no.1 for my mission!

2. Client Session: My first session with a new client ended with him expanding his vision to realise $50m in profit in three years because I helped him see a pathway. It felt incredible to witness the power of deep listening, asking the right questions, and holding space for the possibility of who someone can become.

3. Creative Canvas: I can't believe it took me so long to invest in a stand-up desk and a dual monitor arm for my laptop and screen! My creative space has just expanded, and it feels so good.