#142: Glin & Tonic - Letting Go of Obligations to Step Into Your Future Self

I'm being really harsh with myself, but I had to say this out loud to get the feelings out of my body, this week felt like a bit of a clusterfuck.

Nobody on the receiving end of my time would have thought that because I was fully in contribution mode this week.

The only person I didn’t contribute to was myself. Oooft, I felt it this week.

The irony?

If I was looking through the frame of my past self, this week would have measured up as an amazingly connected and fulfilling one. I made meaningful contributions, spent time with some fabulous humans, my time was fully used up, I didn’t have time to be distracted AND I accomplished a lot!

But today, when I look at my life through the lens of my future self, this week was a total SCHMOZZLE. Yes, that’s my feel-good word for a week that felt like I’d emptied my entire cup giving what I had to others. It was a week that completely consumed me emotionally and mentally.

Energetically, I was spent.

That’s how I know I got it massively wrong this week. My cup wasn’t being replenished through the activities. I’d over-indexed on focusing outwards when I needed to go inwards.

As I reflect on how this week unfolded, here’s what went wrong for me:

NO BOUNDARIES

I came into this week with a relatively spacious diary, only for it to be filled very quickly because I failed to put boundaries around my time and attention.

PRIORITISED OTHERS BEFORE ME

I also prioritised responding to others, thinking that if I got everything actioned, I’d have space for me, to create.

Guess what?

The obligations kept expanding, more and more came through emails, messages, and requests for thoughts and suggestions.

By not prioritising my creative and expansive time first, I failed to make progress toward my future self. How can I become a best-selling author if I didn’t allocate time to write a single word for my next book?

This hurt big time.

DROPPED MY MINIMUM STANDARD

I dropped my minimum standard. As a result, I was responding to things I should have said no to.

To top it off, due to circumstances outside my control that I’m not at liberty to discuss, I’ve taken on even more responsibility to help a team navigate a difficult situation.

Look at me being a good girl, the part of my past self that would have loved the validation is now replaced with a vision of my future self mouthing WTF!

I’m not hanging my head in shame. I’m not going to drown my sorrows in the gap. I’m acknowledging that I’m in the very messy middle.

I’m between two worlds, one foot in the obligations of my past self and one foot in the vision of my future self.

Right now, it feels like the obligations are winning.

Why?

The energy of my past self is still playing out. I built a life where meeting obligations, being responsible, and following through were core to my identity. I also chose these roles at a time when they made sense. Now, I’m in the process of unwinding my choices, and I have to understand that this will take time.

I’m in the ‘task expansion’ trap. Right now, I’m saying yes to too much, and I’m seeing firsthand how work expands when you’re available for it. And guess what? People can’t respect my boundaries because I haven’t fully enforced them yet.

I know if I don’t fiercely protect my time, the world will take as much of it as I give.

I’m in the death phase of my identity shift. There’s a grieving process in shedding a layer of my past self, the version of me that I have to thank for getting me here, but the one I need to say goodbye to for the next leg of the journey.

My exhaustion and frustration aren’t failures, they’re symptoms of a soul-level transition. The part of me that has been "the responsible one" is dissolving, and my ego (Nayla) is fighting for survival, making me feel like it’s impossible to step into my future.

I know I have to let the past version of me fully die before the new one can be born.

My future self is asking me to make a bolder break In some ways, I’ve felt like I’ve been wading through treacle this week, and I think this is coming from my own hesitation.

I’m still holding onto the "shoulds" and obligations, rather than fully stepping into my BIG YES.

My frustration isn’t really about the work, it’s about me feeling like I’m not fully choosing myself yet.

This week has shown me that half-measures won’t work. The transition to my future self needs to be firmer, clearer, and faster.

I have to laugh out loud because all the work I do is about helping people transform their outcomes. I’m constantly banging on about how it’s not what you do but who you become in the process. I’ve also said many times, let people show you who they are, don’t listen to what they tell you.

I know this means I’ve got to be the embodiment of my message. I want others to be brave, to let a past version of themselves or their business die so they can embrace the future vision they dream of, I have to be willing to go first.

To show them. To carve the path through the messy middle so that when they are ready, they won’t feel so scared because they’ll know I’m there, ready to give them a hand through the quality and sharing of my own example.

Once upon a time, I didn’t realise how asleep I was at the wheel of my own life. And even though this week has been a schmozzle, I’m incredibly grateful to be able to see what I see now.

To reflect, to accept, and to know that I can always choose again - differently.

Our pasts often re-emerge to give us a chance to choose differently. To stand firm in our power and yet also in the light of love.

It’s time for me to release and renew my heart. Is it time for you to do the same?

Keep going and keep growing.

Love Glin x

P.S. Three wins from my week:

1. Recognising that this week wasn’t a failure, it was feedback. I know now I need to make a hard decision about my availability and reinforce my boundaries as if my life depends on it, because it does.

2. Trust Currency Experiment is working. I’m eight days into my trust currency experiment, and I know it’s working because I’m not feeling stressed at the thought of having to turn down great opportunities. My old self would be whispering, ‘But what if people don’t ask to work with you again because you said no this time?’ My fully trusting self tells me it’s okay, life is working for us, and my ‘no’ is their redirection to something better.

3. My feelings are my compass. My frustrations haven’t meant failure but, in fact, the opposite, they show that my guidance is working. I’m being pointed in the right direction, as long as I keep paying attention to my feelings and noticing whether my cup is being emptied or filled. I know if I lead with time for my creativity first and foremost, my energy cup will be so full that I’ll have plenty to give others from my overflow.