Most of this week was a schmozzle, and if you've read my heart-to-hearts over the last two weeks, you'll know this is the third week I’ve felt this way.
I'm sharing this journey with you to show you the behind-the-scenes of what inner transformation looks like. This is my messy middle, the space between who I once was and who I want to become.
I've been in the void between two worlds. No longer belonging in one, but not yet fully stepping into the other.
I need you to know that growth isn’t linear. Sometimes, it feels like we’re going backwards, as if the distance between us and our dreams is growing instead of shrinking.
That’s how it felt for me this week. As many of us in South East Queensland and Northern New South Wales prepared for Cyclone Alfred to make landfall, I realised the real cyclone was already happening inside me, wreaking havoc with my thoughts and dreams.
I felt stressed this week, and I had enough of feeling that way. Something needed to shift, and it wasn’t the cyclone outside me. It was the one inside me.
What is stress, really?
We've all felt it. We've observed it in others. But what is stress?
It’s not something we can put in a container, see, or touch. If I asked you to show me stress, the only thing you could point to would be its physical effects on your body.
Maybe it’s headaches, irritable skin, restless sleep, gut issues, or something else entirely.
But if we can’t physically grasp stress, does it actually exist?
I’m coming to realise that stress itself doesn’t exist. What exists are people thinking stressful thoughts and feeling "stressed" as a result.
I believe this because I know the world itself would never describe itself as busy. Yet, as humans, we often experience the world as a busy place. Why?
Because we see the world through the filter of our own lens.
The world doesn’t occur to us as it is. It occurs to us as we are.
Read that again.
My Inner Storm
These last three weeks have felt chaotic, long before Cyclone Alfred showed up. But is the world really chaotic?
Is everyone experiencing chaos?
Or was that just how I was feeling inside?
I’ve learned over the years that my inner reality creates my outer reality, whether I’m fully aware of it or not. Our thoughts and beliefs - beliefs being just thoughts we keep thinking - shape our reality every single day.
So how did I go from feeling excited about embracing my creator self, from feeling so aligned with the journey toward my future self, to feeling like the last three weeks have been a complete mess?
One word. Fear.
I got scared. My vision for who I want to become, the experiences I want to have, and the goals I want to achieve is so big. Seeing myself show courage and choose to take the journey felt exhilarating. Then the fear kicked in.
How do you explain to your body that the future identity you’re moving toward isn’t one you’ve lived before?
How do you make it feel safe when you’re asking it to step into the unknown, with no certainty of how things will unfold?
The Body’s Survival Mode
I hadn't really considered this when I committed to my inner transformation journey this year.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I knew I’d have to shed layers of my past identity.
But I didn’t account for how frightened my body would feel.
For the last three weeks, I’ve defaulted to over-giving my time to board roles and consulting work. My fear has stopped me from setting boundaries around my time because if I created space, I’d have no excuse but to step into the unknown toward my future self.
My body is clinging to the familiar. The stressful thoughts feel awful, but they have been a part of my old identity—the version of me that constantly looked for reasons why I couldn’t live my dream life, the one who believed that kind of life was for other people, not me.
Those thoughts belonged to a past version of me who prioritised what others needed before giving myself what I needed.
Maybe you can relate.
Maybe choosing your future self feels indulgent. Maybe it feels impossible, like something that isn’t available to you.
But I’m here to show you, through my own journey, that it is.
Clearing the Fear
This week, I sought help from my beautiful kinesiologist, Kasey.
She helped me understand what my body was feeling and where my energy was stuck. She helped me make sense of the chaos and cleared energy blockages so I could move forward toward future Glin.
I wanted to be further along in my transformation by now. I wanted to show you all the wonderful things happening as a result of my commitment to my future identity—the one I have yet to become.
But this is my reality.
The inner transformation journey is not linear. So far, it has been teaching me patience and reminding me that there is more to life than increasing its speed.
I’m seeing things more clearly. I’m taking steps forward, even though I need to accept that at times, it will feel like I’m going backwards.
A Milestone That Matters
It’s March 9th, and by the end of the month, we’ll be closing the first quarter of 2025. It’s a milestone I want to make count.
For me, this journey isn’t about what I will achieve this year. It’s about who I am becoming.
By the end of this month, I hope to have made more courageous moves—to show myself, and you, that choosing the journey toward living the life we dream of is always worth it.
I’m not chasing a destination—the kind that sounds like, “I’ll be happy when...”
I’m on a journey home to myself.
Each milestone isn’t about what I’ve physically achieved, but about the layers I’ve shed and the things I’ve surrendered to access the most authentic expression of myself.
I want to feel the same sense of safety being myself whether I’m sitting alone on my couch or writing this weekly heart-to-heart.
I want to bring this authentic expression of myself into all of my work, whether that’s consulting, coaching, writing, or creating my art.
My journey of inner transformation is about allowing myself to be the truest expression of me.
I know I can’t write the books I want to write or create the art I want to share with the world if I’m hiding behind fear.
And to you, my fellow earth school student, my message this week is simple.
Be brave. Be all of yourself.
Keep going and keep growing.
Love Glin x
P.S. Three wins from my week:
1. Honest Communication. This week was a powerful one for sharing truths. I had an open conversation with my fellow board members about how I was feeling and the concerns I had about the time my voluntary board role was consuming. Honesty is potent - now we’re working together to share the load I had felt I was carrying alone.
2. The Trust Currency experiment continues. Next Saturday will mark a full month of trading in trust currency. I’ve found that it is helping me be much braver in conversations that feel scary because I am choosing to trade in trust. The more I commit to this, the more valuable it becomes.
3. Cyclone Alfred being downgraded. Thankfully, our home was not hit hard by the cyclone we had been preparing for. We had strong winds and rain but remained safe from major damage. While I know not everyone has escaped unscathed, I am deeply grateful that we were spared.
Responses